Longings fulfilled

Does that statement ring true to anyone else like it does for me? I have definitely felt heart sick at multiple times in my life, because I wasn't actively pursuing my dreams. Sometimes our dreams even sometimes feel like a burden! And I think they actually can be! The burden of our own GREATNESS feels heavy on our hearts when we decide not to acknowledge the wonder and innate value that each of us are born with.

I remember my first trip to the Redwood Forest. The pure majesty and epic grandeur of it all absolutely blew my mind.

I have always had a particular affinity for trees, but there are certain trees that have the capacity to take your breath away.

I have a favorite picture of me sitting in front of an enormous Redwood tree, and next to the immense girth of that tree trunk, I look as if I could be Tinkerbell in comparison. When I think of a tree of life, like in the proverb, THAT tree is the kind of tree that comes to mind.

How many starving, deferred hopes and dreams do we carry around with us day after day, looking for the occasional bread crumbs we throw at them from the table called ‘incidental inspiration’? We all have dreams inside of us, each of us has a very unique set of desires, longings, and hopes. And it is all too easy for us to take those dreams and set them aside, put them on the back burner, procrastinate, postpone, deny them or put them on hold. We have thousands of great reasons and excuses why this makes sense to us in the moment.

I’m thinking of a writer friend of mine who desperately wants to write screenplays but will not start until he can afford to move to L.A. Another friend dreams of becoming a singer, but a teacher in elementary school shamed her for singing badly once so she's hardly sung since. A third friend dreams of acting school, but the risk seems too great. He feels like his time has past and he's too old to pursue such foolishness. There are a myriad of excuses we can conjure up to make ourselves continue to justify our choices. However, we need to acknowledge the fact that staying in that place of fearful inertia is actually a danger to our well being, health and happiness. And I would even go as far as saying that it is denying the responsibility that each of us has to serve the world in our own unique ways that no one else in all of time and history has ever, or will ever, be able to replicate.

Trees don’t become trees overnight. Each tree begins with a seed. The majestically enchanting world created by the arch of branches and green leaves starts with the seemingly mundane, even elementary, act of the tiniest kernel passing through our hands into the ground.

We need to simply begin to take the small, courageous steps in the direction of our dreams. Perhaps for you, this means purchasing some nice writing pens and a pad of paper. Maybe it means scheduling a voice lesson for the following week. Maybe it means taking ten minutes to research art schools. Perhaps reading this article is a great first step! The point is, each of us must begin somewhere. Focusing on the process and not on the finished product will lead to growing your own tree of life.

Remember to be gentle with yourself. Perhaps deferred hopes have made your heart sick for a very long time and you need to start slowly. Treat your inner artist like a small child that you would nurture and protect. Awakening the creativity within is a bit like learning how to walk. It might seem painstakingly slow at first but try to be patient with yourself and just take one step after the other. Have you ever watched a toddler take her first steps? It is cause for MASSIVE celebration! So celebrate each of your baby steps because before long you are going to be RUNNING!

Being creative is actually an act of faith. Sometimes there is just so much fear involved in beginning something. Especially, when we have the end result of our dream in mind and feel like we can only see how far we fall short in comparison. Eighty percent of it, however, is simply showing up! If we believe in a God, or Universe, or greater power, who has given us these gifts and dreams in the first place, and that they are uniquely ours for a reason (and I DO!) than we have to believe that this Higher Power is going to do its part, just as we are going to do ours, because that is what was intended in the first place.

I don't believe that we are given dreams that are not meant to be fulfilled. But I do think it's a co-laboring process.

Working out our own creativity can be a little bit like starting to date someone you've had a huge crush on for a long time. I have had many projects- books, songs, musicals, classes and workshops, even research papers in school, where I was almost so afraid of getting started, I spent more time worrying about the project, doubting myself and my own abilities and talking myself out of actually doing it than I did actually spending time creating. Ask God to help you. You will be amazed at amazing ideas and strategies that will come as soon as you are honest about your desires and intentions. A good majority of the actual process is simply starting and not being afraid to make mistakes. You WILL make mistakes. Part of being an artist (or whatever it is you are dreaming about becoming) is being willing to be a bad artist at first. Creating is a courageous business. With every day, and sometimes with every moment, you have to be willing take risks.

So make a list of risks you could take and start to make at least one every day.

The universe wants us to accomplish the things we have been created to do and be, much more than we could ever desire it for ourselves. And believe me, I have felt desire so strong at times that I felt I might die. Sometimes we feel burdened with the weight of the greatness that we carry, and we have to simply begin to release it, in faith, one little spoonful at a time. As soon as this process starts, relief and calm start to descend.

The act of creating is a bit like climbing Mount Sinai in the dark. My friends, who have made the climb, told me the ascent to the mountain’s peak begins at one o’clock in the morning. Apparently, watching the sun as it rises from the top of the mountain is one of the most amazing experiences in the world. But you are literally hiking up a steep, rocky path for hours in the dark and you only have a flashlight until you reach the top. All you can see is a few feet in front of you, and looking to where your feet are going to step next is the way you get to the mountaintop.