The Quarantine Chronicles: Day 10

Yesterday, I shared an excerpt from the book, Lost Connections by Johann Hari on loneliness and today I am going to share another one because it is fascinating and basically...

everyone in the world just needs to read this book!

It is that good.

According to John Cappicio, a neuroscience researcher, and his studies,

"When he put lonely people into brain-scanning machines, he noticed something. They would spot potential threats within 150 milliseconds, while it took socially connected people twice as long, 300 milliseconds, to notice the same threat. What was happening?

Protracted loneliness causes you to shut down socially, and to be more suspicious of any social contact, he found. You become hypervigilant. You start to be more likely to take offense where none was intended, and to be afraid of strangers. You start to be afraid of the very thing you need most. John calls this a "snowball" effect, as disconnection spirals into more disconnection.

Lonely people are scanning for threats because they unconsciously know that nobody is looking out for them, so no one will help them if they are hurt. This snowball effect, he learned, can be reversed -- but. to help a depressed or severely anxious person out of it, they need more love, and more reassurance, than they would have needed in the first place.

The tragedy, John realized, is that many depressed and anxious people receive less love, as they become harder to be around. Indeed, they receive judgment, and criticism, and this accelerates their retreat from the world. They snowball into an ever colder place."

Ooof. Pretty crazy, huh?

When I read that I thought, this needs to be used in one of my creativity prompts because

1) I think it is valuable info for everyone to know and

2) Regardless of whether or not we would consider ourselves to be lonely at the moment, so many people are feeling especially lonely during this time, and creating in the opposite spirit will do us all some good.

So today, I want you to create a celebration!

Last week, I was invited to one of my best friend's birthday parties online over Zoom and it was genuinely beautiful and inspiring. 12 of her favorite people came together -- I live in a different country than she does so I wouldn't have been able to even attend her party had it not been for the pandemic. ( I mean, technically, yes I could have phoned in...but usually we don't think of that kind of thing and during Quarantine, somehow it was a different scenario.)

Also, several weeks ago, my husband and I did a concert on Zoom and that was felt incredibly meaningful and uplifting for us. Not so much the concert part but the 'celebration in people coming together' part.

Being able to see all of those people, clapping and waving, coming together, it was like seeing little flames on the computer screen from all over the world...reminding us of the beauty and life that we still can celebrate in any circumstance.

Today make solid plans for an online celebration and bring some people together. It would be a great opportunity to share your art with people, if you are feeling bold, or maybe create something especially for that purpose.

But you don't need to have a specific reason. You can create a reason! You could invite your favorite people and celebrate them, and tell them why each one is so special to you. ( P.S. I have done this before around a table at parties and dinners and there is nothing more fun!)

You could gather a group of people and discuss a specific topic, or even tell each person to bring a bottle of champagne and have a Toasting Party! Tell them you are going to simply each take turns toasting the most wonderful things you can think of until the bottles are empty! (I am not necessarily endorsing drinking an entire bottle of champagne by yourself...but hey, all is fair in love and Quarantine so...)

To summarize...create a unique celebration and bring some people together this weekend!

(And let me know how it goes!)