The Quarantine Chronicles: Day 1, The Power of Connection

Welcome, Dear One.

So glad you are here.

This is going to be a beautiful journey.

Today's creativity prompt is inspired from one of my favorite books: Lost Connections by Johann Hari.

The subtitle of Johann's book is "Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression- and the Unexpected Solutions". This book is honestly one that I wish the whole world would read because it is that good! ;.)

A short excerpt from his book is about a study on loneliness done by a young neuroscience researcher named John Cacioppo.

"John and his colleagues gathered one hundred strangers at the University of Chicago...to take part in a straightforward experiment that nobody had ever tried before.

If you were one of the people taking part, you were told to go out and spend a few days just living your normal everyday life- only with a few little tweaks. You had to wear a cardiovascular monitor to measure your heart rate, and you were given a little beeper and some tubes. You left the lab. On the first day of the experiment, whenever the beeper beeped-- which, it turned out, would happen nine times a day -- you would have to stop your everyday business and write down two things. First, you had to note how lonely or connected you felt. Second, you had to record your heart rate from the monitor.

On the second day of the experiment you went through the same process, except this time, when you heard the beeper, you'd spit into a tube, seal it, and keep it to hand in to the lab.

John was trying to figure exactly how stressful it is to be lonely. Nobody knew. But when you're stressed, your heartbeat goes up, and your saliva becomes flooded with a hormone called cortisol. So this experiment could - finally - measure how big the effect is.

When John and his colleagues added up the data, they were startled. Feeling lonely, it turned out, caused your cortisol levels to absolutely soar -- as much as some of the most disturbing things that can ever happen to you. Becoming acutely lonely, the experiment found, was as stressful as experiencing a physical attack.

It's worth repeating. Being deeply lonely seemed to cause as much stress as being punched by a stranger."

This excerpt is powerful, right? It's a fascinating study. And all the more reason to take our relationships with people more seriously even then perhaps we already do.

For today's creativity prompt, take 10-15 minutes (if you feel engaged and get in the flow, by all means keep going longer) and write about the moments in your life when you felt most connected to people in the most powerful ways.

I asked a group in Berlin that I am working with this question a few weeks ago and it brought out some incredibly beautiful stories.

One friend, who had just moved to the city from another country and didn't know anyone except the refugees she had been teaching German to that past month, had to move to another apartment building and her entire class (who she had only really begun to get to know) showed up to help her move.

Personally, I remember a time when I first visited my now in-laws and spent Christmas for the first time with their family. I was feeling pretty nervous and of course wanted to fit in well. The first night we all sat down to dinner it was suggested that we all go around and share something that was occupying our thoughts the most and causing us to maybe even worry about the coming week so we could be more aware of what each person was feeling. One of the siblings was getting ready to move far away and there were a lot of different things going on in the family.

At first I thought, oh no...this is a terrible idea...all of us talking about our anxieties? This is going to be a negative spiral real quick...but in fact, the opposite happened. Each person shared something really vulnerable, really real...and everyone at the table was so moved with compassion and empathy by the concerns of each individual. Everyone felt so seen and heard, and even though there were different faith beliefs represented around the table, together everyone prayed for each other and the circumstances they were facing. It was one of the most beautiful moments of connection I've ever experienced within a family setting.

I think back to many theater experiences as well...so many wonderful times of connection, every group I've performed with becomes such a family, so bonded...beautiful times working with children, at camps and on trips, etc.

Talking about all of these memories with the group I was working with here in Berlin made me realize how rich in love we are...

What are some of your most powerful memories, when you felt particularly seen and heard? Truly connected...

Take a few minutes to write and journal about them...Maybe you want to write a song about it. Or paint one of those moments. Or dance what you felt in that memory. Write a poem about how those memories feel, what those memories mean to you.